Comments please
I couldn’t work on my script, so i decided just to write something, I’m not sure where this is going, but it was an interesting idea and would like people’s opinions.
The man sat there in the corner of the room. The said room wasn’t really a room it was actually a coffee shop, but the way the man was sitting and the way he seemed made it look like he had the privacy of his own room. The man so unashamed about his own actions and how society would perceive him at the moment that if anyone else were to look at this man, they would simply look away and avert their eyes. Probably due to the feeling embarrassment or maybe it was pity that they would be feeling for themselves for said man would be unbearable. Who knows? But that was exactly what the ten or so other people in the coffee shop were doing, minding their own business. The man, as stated earlier, to be honest, wasn’t really doing anything outwardly embarrassing. Is it really that embarrassing to sit in a coffee shop with just a bathrobe, sleepy and unshaven staring outside of a window seat, which he was occupying, waiting as the steam from his coffee cup slowly disappears? Of course not, but society would like to believe that out of self decency, people should never appear like that, at least out in public. With that aside, however, it was his look, it was the waiting anticipation on his face as he stared outside of the window for something to happen, yet in his mind he knows with every ounce of strength that it would not be so. Maybe, that’s what really causes people to avert their eyes. It is the epitome of human failure that reverberates from this man’s posture and eyes. So what would cause this man to be in such disgrace as he is at the moment? No one can really be sure. Well I suppose I could because frankly I might be the cause of this man’s…lack of decency, common respect for himself and fellow man or embarrassment of…whatever you might call his state of mind? Ok actually it was my fault.
I’ll be honest and say I’m not very proud of it, but who would have known? I honestly did not think that an introduction of two very well mannered, well adjusted people could result in the utter collapse of the world, the universe, and the existence of all things that were good and innocent in both lives. Yes I said both lives, cause as there is a man sitting in that busy coffee shop there is also a woman sitting in another sort of place I can’t say exactly where, but I know she is out there, unsure of what she’s done, unsure of what was right and what was wrong, and ultimately caused herself to be unsure of herself. She walks with her confident strides though, she steps into work put together like a statue, and laughs out loud to jokes and still enjoys and vies for the attention of men, but all of it is just a show to tell people that “I’m ok and I am stronger,” and while it only tries to affirm that all she has done is correct and justified in the world, when she goes home at night her state of being is quite the same as that said man in the coffee shop, in the bathrobe and unshaven face, staring out the window hoping for what is not going to come. She might outwardly have a better sense of decency than the said man in the coffee shop, but on the inside I can only honestly say she is broken.
I suppose this is the part of job that I utterly hate. It’s these moments that I have to live with and have to see with my own eyes that make me wish I could change it. However, unlike many other people I can’t simply just give it up. What makes it all the worse for me is that people often never attribute these failures to me, instead they like to acknowledge me during wedding toasts honoring me, and write stories inspired by me about lovers reunited, and lovers striving over great odds. I don’t know where I managed to get this great PR, and some might say that I should happy that I never get blamed for the mistakes. Albeit maybe there are the few out there that have scorned me, but sadly they’re considered the crazy manic-depressive types in the world, I like to call them my true honest friends. But, I suppose that is my bane that I honestly want to see people genuinely happy, and when I make mistakes it often destroys people. I want someone to blame me, it would at least let me get on with it, but again, people don’t. No one will blame me for the faults of what happened between said man in the coffee shop and said woman with the fake confident strides. And while I feel honestly terrible about it, people will only look at me and say, “oh fate, you know they could have never been, time got in the way, personalities clashed, you had nothing to do with it. You are not at fault, it was not your doing, in fact they will put their lives in your hands once again.” It’s sometimes so much worse when people don’t acknowledge your faults when you know full well it is yours and let me tell you I often fail more than I succeed. I’m fate, and I want to change my job, too many people have lost their faith because of me, ironic isn’t it?
maybe I should really just continue working on my script.
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