Things I’ve learned to enjoy

•November 3, 2009 • 2 Comments

There are things in life which I’ve slowly learned to enjoy. Now when I say learn I mean that in a very literal sense, cause I often feel like learning comes when necessity arises. And one of these things is coffee, all throughout my youth I’ve never particularly enjoyed coffee. I would pride myself in the fact that I wouldn’t need the caffeinated beverage to keep me going I would run on the strength of sheer will power and drive. This mentality was the same even when I went off to college, all nighters an 8ams I would stick to my guns and say,” who needs coffee? addicts that’s who! ” ok from time to time I would enjoy the festive drinks here and there, but coffee? never.

This, however, changed when I came to film school. I don’t know what it is about film school, but it’s usually coffee and/or cigarettes. I do not smoke nor wish to start, so I chose the lesser of the evils. I’m not even sure what it is about Film school that creates such addicting habits, it must be the New York hipster attitude that was transported over here along with the school. I mean alumni Jim Jarmusch even made a whole film called Coffee and Cigarettes. But yes I think I can honestly say I now belong into the hipster world of coffee. It started off from necessity… as I stated earlier which always leads to learning. It started with a tall black with milk and sugar, then a little bit of milk and sugar, to black two sugars. I’ve learned to distinguish the complexity of the different tastes in coffee, the acidity, body, aroma, and richness that it has. I’ve had it in coffee presses, drip, vacuum brewing,  even the “sock” method. But what it all comes down to is the fact that at one point in my life I would never catch myself having a daily brew, and now my method to unwind after a long day is to sit down with my computer and have a tall black with two sugars sitting next to me steaming. Just like now. Yes I am one of those types of hipsters now, who sit in coffee shops and write in my blog. If this wasn’t singapore and had independently owned hip coffee shops, I would be loudly protesting against this corporate icon and it’s sad excuse for coffee!!! But sadly this is all there is, and as they say don’t bite the hand that feeds you.

So what does this all come down to? As I said sometimes learning to enjoy something comes out of necessity. I think there are some specifics necessities in my life that I need to address, and I know it won’t come easily just like the first cup of coffee usually only the bitter taste comes through. It isn’t until you learn to really sit down and learn to enjoy it that you can fully appreciate something. and what does this mean for me? I’ve learned I need the Word just as much as I need a cup of coffee, to learn to enjoy and appreciate it for all it’s complexities and sometimes the bitterness that comes with the words that hit me, but learn it’s all necessary, for the completeness of my own soul and body.

I just finished my coffee… darn. Good thing this post is done now, maybe i’ll just have another cup….

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New News

•October 18, 2009 • Leave a Comment

Hello my dwindling followers. I’m here to update everyone on the going-ons in my life. So, I’m sorry I haven’t written in here so much. I have been writing quite a lot in other places though. Scripts, scripts scripts, It’s all we’ve been talking about here in Tisch Asia, and it’s all we worry about as well. You can imagine how frustrating it can be when you don’t want to worry about something yet it’s all you talk about. If you could only read my first script to the one I have now… My mind has been flying.

So despite scripts we’ve been actively planning our trip to Japan; where i’ll be spending two months shooting my own film along with three others. I can only say that I am honestly very honored to be working with these three filmmakers, however the most exciting part is in three weeks I’ll be here:

tokyo at night

And then from there MOST likely from the looks of our most recent plans I’ll be traveling on one of these:

To then arriving here:

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Kyoto. Which is where we will most likely shoot our films. Exciting isn’t it?

well that is my brief update. I promise to update more!

Probably a late update to many things.

•September 13, 2009 • 1 Comment

So for those who don’t know, which I don’t know who that would be… since it’s not like people check here for what’s going on in my life anymore, I’m back in singapore! Well I’ve been back for the past three weeks now, and I’ll be honest and say I’ve really missed this little island. It’s good to see old faces, by old I mean faces I’ve known for barely a year, but with all the experiences it might as well have been 10 or 20 years. Film school is War I tell you it ages people. In fact the other day a teacher told me, I look older. I now look 18 instead of 12. I will take that as a great compliment, and according to him Film school has aged me 6 years in one year. At this rate I will look 30 years old when i get out!

Anyways, It’s been a good time here. School is starting, the days are getting longer, and I’m constantly tired. Add a bit of pressure the impending feeling of a nervous breakdown and you have the tone of Tisch Asia.

So I miss posting pictures on here. I used to not know what to write about but at least I would post a picture or something. Sadly my DSLR, now comes the conundrum, should i buy a new one? I really miss taking photos. However, I do need to save money. Sigh.

Anyways, hello Chicago, I hope you know I miss you.

•August 17, 2009 • 2 Comments

It’s moments like these, when I just want someone to just listen. So much so that I’m reduced to spelling it out in a blog and leaving it open on this vast public forum.

I know it’s trivial and meaningless. I know its ranting, and whining. I know I feel stupid.

But I just want silence, and a listening ear. I feel…sappy? angsty? emo? whatever it is I feel I hate it.

I need to become less. God must be is greater.

Comments please

•August 1, 2009 • Leave a Comment

I couldn’t work on my script, so i decided just to write something, I’m not sure where this is going, but it was an interesting idea and would like people’s opinions.

The man sat there in the corner of the room. The said room wasn’t really a room it was actually a coffee shop, but the way the man was sitting and the way he seemed made it look like he had the privacy of his own room. The man so unashamed about his own actions and how society would perceive him at the moment that if anyone else were to look at this man, they would simply look away and avert their eyes. Probably due to the feeling embarrassment or maybe it was pity that they would be feeling for themselves for said man would be unbearable. Who knows? But that was exactly what the ten or so other people in the coffee shop were doing, minding their own business. The man, as stated earlier, to be honest, wasn’t really doing anything outwardly embarrassing. Is it really that embarrassing to sit in a coffee shop with just a bathrobe, sleepy and unshaven staring outside of a window seat, which he was occupying, waiting as the steam from his coffee cup slowly disappears? Of course not, but society would like to believe that out of self decency, people should never appear like that, at least out in public. With that aside, however, it was his look, it was the waiting anticipation on his face as he stared outside of the window for something to happen, yet in his mind he knows with every ounce of strength that it would not be so. Maybe, that’s what really causes people to avert their eyes. It is the epitome of human failure that reverberates from this man’s posture and eyes. So what would cause this man to be in such disgrace as he is at the moment? No one can really be sure. Well I suppose I could because frankly I might be the cause of this man’s…lack of decency, common respect for himself and fellow man or embarrassment of…whatever you might call his state of mind? Ok actually it was my fault.

I’ll be honest and say I’m not very proud of it, but who would have known? I honestly did not think that an introduction of two very well mannered, well adjusted people could result in the utter collapse of the world, the universe, and the existence of all things that were good and innocent in both lives. Yes I said both lives, cause as there is a man sitting in that busy coffee shop there is also a woman sitting in another sort of place I can’t say exactly where, but I know she is out there, unsure of what she’s done, unsure of what was right and what was wrong, and ultimately caused herself to be unsure of herself. She walks with her confident strides though, she steps into work put together like a statue, and laughs out loud to jokes and still enjoys and vies for the attention of men, but all of it is just a show to tell people that “I’m ok and I am stronger,” and while it only tries to affirm that all she has done is correct and justified in the world, when she goes home at night her state of being is quite the same as that said man in the coffee shop, in the bathrobe and unshaven face, staring out the window hoping for what is not going to come. She might outwardly have a better sense of decency than the said man in the coffee shop, but on the inside I can only honestly say she is broken.

I suppose this is the part of job that I utterly hate. It’s these moments that I have to live with and have to see with my own eyes that make me wish I could change it. However, unlike many other people I can’t simply just give it up. What makes it all the worse for me is that people often never attribute these failures to me, instead they like to acknowledge me during wedding toasts honoring me, and write stories inspired by me about lovers reunited, and lovers striving over great odds. I don’t know where I managed to get this great PR, and some might say that I should happy that I never get blamed for the mistakes. Albeit maybe there are the few out there that have scorned me, but sadly they’re considered the crazy manic-depressive types in the world, I like to call them my true honest friends. But, I suppose that is my bane that I honestly want to see people genuinely happy, and when I make mistakes it often destroys people. I want someone to blame me, it would at least let me get on with it, but again, people don’t. No one will blame me for the faults of what happened between said man in the coffee shop and said woman with the fake confident strides. And while I feel honestly terrible about it, people will only look at me and say, “oh fate, you know they could have never been, time got in the way, personalities clashed, you had nothing to do with it. You are not at fault, it was not your doing, in fact they will put their lives in your hands once again.” It’s sometimes so much worse when people don’t acknowledge your faults when you know full well it is yours and let me tell you I often fail more than I succeed. I’m fate, and I want to change my job, too many people have lost their faith because of me, ironic isn’t it?

maybe I should really just continue working on my script.

laws of human nature, my life, and thunderstorms that rock.

•August 1, 2009 • Leave a Comment

I often am surprised with this idea of “inspiration” and where this stuff of magic comes from. It’s like magic isn’t it? It often strikes you where you least expect it and it is fleeting as fast as it came if you aren’t careful, I mean why else do the “smarter” people often carry notebooks and pens everywhere they go. They’re smart enough to know that these surges of magic are like strikes of lightning they’re magnificently beautiful, but if there was no one to take the picture in the middle of the deserted plains where often these things of beauty and thunderstorms occur would anyone have known in the first place? remember…they’re deserted. So we’ve grown accustomed to learn that we should write all ideas and inspirations down, or so i’ve learned or trying to learn.

Either way that brings me to places of inspiration, I don’t really know what kind of place actually causes me to be inspired, or what makes them such conduits of inspirational juices, I just know that when I’m there things can flow out of me. I’m encouraged to work and everything that comes into mind and out of my fingertips seems like gold, again it could just be the deceiving nature of the location, but what do I care it makes me feel good for the few hours I’m here. I honestly enjoy it when I can let my mind wander and run like the imaginations we used to have when we were children, I enjoy writing down my stream of thoughts that can make little or no sense when I let them out into reality. All i know is that the wonderful irony of this situation is that I am inspired to write a post about being inspired but there probably really aren’t any real solid ideas of inspiration in here. Just the joy of having my earbuds in and letting my fingers go wild.

I’m in a caribou in the middle of a strip mall, and I have ideas about the Laws of Human Nature, my life, and trembling storms that I would like to rock my said life going on in my head. All of which I wish I had the words, and powers of creativity to let free. I don’t know how they all connect, and I don’t know what it all means all I know is that it’s there.

Sunrise

•June 14, 2009 • Leave a Comment

I’ve been watching the sunrise way too many times this past week. I’m reminded of the little prince on his little planet.

“one day you said to me,’I saw the sunset fourty-four times!’ and a little later you added:

‘you know-one loves the sunset, when one is so sad…’

‘were you sad then?’ I asked, ‘on the day of the forty-four sunsets?’

but the little prince made no reply”

I suppose I didn’t see sunsets, and saw sunrises and I wonder if that means I’m happy instead of sad. eh, who knows.